Thanksgiving has come and gone and I've not yet acknowledged what I'm thankful for. There are a lot of things that I think are just peachy and I believe I'd like to share.
First, I'm thankful that sister numero uno let me invite myself to her place for the holiday weekend. It helped that I brought her second child with me on the drive. However, even if said child wasn't nearby where I live, my sister would have let me come, anyway. If I didn't bring her child, though, there may not have been an acceptance (but I would never have abandoned her child in favor of my own needs--you just don't do that).
Second, I'm thankful for being employed. Since I opted out of being a starving artist for being a fed human being who does not a) permanently live with their parents (SHUDDER) and b) living on friends' and family's couches until my welcome and moochiness is no longer tolerated, it's nice to be able to live on my own and pay the bills. For some odd reason I enjoy the comforts of a dry place to sleep, indoor plumbing, and food I choose to buy and eat that is not from a dumpster (you dumpster divers who do not need to are really, extremely, certifiably weird).
As for "Black Friday," the family went to Target Thanksgiving night after 9 p.m. I've never purposely shopped on Black Friday, and technically it was Thursday, so I was surprised at how organized and FAST the experience was. Though we did hear that this morning was supposed to be lousy with people. As I am not the fondest of crowds of people milling about, the fewer amount of people, though still more that I'm truly comfortable with, was preferred. And I bought some movies and tried to keep my spending to a modest amount and was told that I'd saved $30. I thanked the person checking us out for sacrificing their Thanksgiving for working. She was very sweet, and apparently known to my sister and her family. Awesome! So, I was thankful that I was able to buy stuff on sale without a crushing crowd of jostling people while still receiving a sale price. I've shopped once late on Black Friday and on occasion the Saturday after and it's usually picked clean of the stuff I wanted. Sigh.
No, I didn't plan out the night and camp out and try to beat people to what I wanted. I wasn't even sure what I wanted, just that I was curious which movies they had on sale. So, bonus! Here's one of my general attitudes about life: if you have low expectations you are usually sure to wreak some enjoyment out of life. For example: seeing Batman and Robin for the first time was a very comedic experience that I enjoyed immensely. I'm fond of campiness in the movies and didn't expect much from the film when I went into the theater. I was the only one laughing and enjoying myself. Seriously, people, you expected more from a film with George Clooney as Batman? REALLY?
I spent some time in a mall on Friday, so now I have purposely shopped on Black Friday. I was successful in purchasing some knit gloves on the cheap from a store I don't usually go into. Is it bad that I ended up drooling, but not purchasing, inside a Lego store? Oh, so many, many sets that I don't have the funds for or space to keep. An actual Death Star? A very large R2-D2? Recommended for 16+? Oh, I definitely geeked out. And then left. I have some measure of self-control...and a budget. Again, I believe I've already mentioned I have my own place. I'd like to keep it that way. Maybe I should set aside some money every month just for splurging on those fun things. I will have to sacrifice some other luxury spending item, like maybe the DVD portion of my Netflix account, but I think I might enjoy the Legos more than the ability to not watch a DVD that's been sitting in my place for two months while still paying the monthly fee. Must think on it further....
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
How To Use Jedi Mind Tricks In Real Life
I have a skill that involves convincing people of the opposite of what they want to do in favor of what I want to do. I'm serious. I have witnesses. I've even had someone quote after one of these events: "These are not the droids you're looking for."
The key is: confidence. If you are confident that what you're doing is the right thing people tend to believe you. Crazy, no? I've been told that I'm brave or that I have moxie or other adjectives such as those. I'm not. I freely admit that it's just bluster. I again refer to The King and I. This time, though, it has to do with the song "I Whistle A Happy Tune." It's not just a great number in that movie as it was also done quite funnily on "The Muppet Show" with guest star Julie Andrews. Good times!
My mother raised us on musicals and Star Trek, so that may explain my obsession with show tunes and space battles. Or not. And speaking of Star Wars, Mark Hamill also guested on "The Muppet Show," but I have a hard time watching that cringe-worthy episode. I can tell he's having a blast, and Gonzo as Darth Nader (as well as droid and Wookie special guest stars) is spectacular. But, wow, Mr. Hamill, you were a little over-OVER-excited.
Where was I? Oh, right: making believe I was brave. It probably helped that when I was younger (and even shorter) we had a musical toy that played the song, too. And tending to believe everyone who told me anything (I was super impressionable and an advertiser's dream when I went food shopping with family and quoted the television commercials and sang the jingles for name-brand products), I took it as truthful advice. I'm a coward at heart, but, really, who isn't? It's very easy to be terrified and do nothing. I've heard that bravery is being scared, but doing things anyway. I credit my drama classes in high school and the years of being over-dramatic in learning how to ACT brave, which is not the same thing as being brave. But I can be quaking in my boots and not have my knees knocking together. Yea!
I used to sing solos in church and was always so terrified that I had a very fast, very unnatural vibrato. After I graduated college one of my friends made me sing in church often enough so that I wasn't so scared anymore. I'm still more confident in singing duets and trios, but I no longer have the bad vibrato when I solo; enough so that after I sang in a church service with people who used to sit through my musical assaults one member of the congregation couldn't stop complimenting me on my improvement. ...Uh, thanks?
So when you find yourself suddenly agreeing with me when you didn't mean to, don't worry, you're not the first. And I promise to always use my powers for good. And when you've mastered the whole cause and effect thing and feel guilty that you're using it for your own benefit and no one else's, good. Don't do that again. If you are to be benefited by using such techniques, make sure you're doing it more for others than yourself. Your powers are great and you don't want to give into the Dark Side. I do possess a bumper sticker that one of my friends gave me that states: I was seduced by the chocolate side of the Force. I can tell you truly that I've never been tempted by the dark chocolate side, though. Ick. Too bitter.
Just remember, when someone is telling you you can't enter an area because they're closing the gates you can say, "Oh, it's okay. My friends and I need to catch the train and we'll miss it if we walk around. We just need to cut straight through and we can see that the gate on the other side is still open." If you smile and say it sweetly it is most effective. I've also convinced people that I didn't need to move my car out of a parking lot exit until the other car we were caravanning with drove by. However, the biggest lesson for me was when I knew that by inviting my father to go with me to the new grocery store it would result in his buying my food as well as his. I did it anyway and then felt horribly guilty for purposely using him as I'd hoped for that outcome. That was the last selfish time. I guess it helps that I only use the skill when it's unimportant and won't hurt anyone. I'm trying to be good and I don't actually like to inconvenience people. So maybe that's the secret, confidence and niceness. Well, I never said I was a Jedi Master (even if I have a badge from Walt Disney World's Star Tours that says differently). I'm really just a Padawan.
The key is: confidence. If you are confident that what you're doing is the right thing people tend to believe you. Crazy, no? I've been told that I'm brave or that I have moxie or other adjectives such as those. I'm not. I freely admit that it's just bluster. I again refer to The King and I. This time, though, it has to do with the song "I Whistle A Happy Tune." It's not just a great number in that movie as it was also done quite funnily on "The Muppet Show" with guest star Julie Andrews. Good times!
My mother raised us on musicals and Star Trek, so that may explain my obsession with show tunes and space battles. Or not. And speaking of Star Wars, Mark Hamill also guested on "The Muppet Show," but I have a hard time watching that cringe-worthy episode. I can tell he's having a blast, and Gonzo as Darth Nader (as well as droid and Wookie special guest stars) is spectacular. But, wow, Mr. Hamill, you were a little over-OVER-excited.
Where was I? Oh, right: making believe I was brave. It probably helped that when I was younger (and even shorter) we had a musical toy that played the song, too. And tending to believe everyone who told me anything (I was super impressionable and an advertiser's dream when I went food shopping with family and quoted the television commercials and sang the jingles for name-brand products), I took it as truthful advice. I'm a coward at heart, but, really, who isn't? It's very easy to be terrified and do nothing. I've heard that bravery is being scared, but doing things anyway. I credit my drama classes in high school and the years of being over-dramatic in learning how to ACT brave, which is not the same thing as being brave. But I can be quaking in my boots and not have my knees knocking together. Yea!
I used to sing solos in church and was always so terrified that I had a very fast, very unnatural vibrato. After I graduated college one of my friends made me sing in church often enough so that I wasn't so scared anymore. I'm still more confident in singing duets and trios, but I no longer have the bad vibrato when I solo; enough so that after I sang in a church service with people who used to sit through my musical assaults one member of the congregation couldn't stop complimenting me on my improvement. ...Uh, thanks?
So when you find yourself suddenly agreeing with me when you didn't mean to, don't worry, you're not the first. And I promise to always use my powers for good. And when you've mastered the whole cause and effect thing and feel guilty that you're using it for your own benefit and no one else's, good. Don't do that again. If you are to be benefited by using such techniques, make sure you're doing it more for others than yourself. Your powers are great and you don't want to give into the Dark Side. I do possess a bumper sticker that one of my friends gave me that states: I was seduced by the chocolate side of the Force. I can tell you truly that I've never been tempted by the dark chocolate side, though. Ick. Too bitter.
Just remember, when someone is telling you you can't enter an area because they're closing the gates you can say, "Oh, it's okay. My friends and I need to catch the train and we'll miss it if we walk around. We just need to cut straight through and we can see that the gate on the other side is still open." If you smile and say it sweetly it is most effective. I've also convinced people that I didn't need to move my car out of a parking lot exit until the other car we were caravanning with drove by. However, the biggest lesson for me was when I knew that by inviting my father to go with me to the new grocery store it would result in his buying my food as well as his. I did it anyway and then felt horribly guilty for purposely using him as I'd hoped for that outcome. That was the last selfish time. I guess it helps that I only use the skill when it's unimportant and won't hurt anyone. I'm trying to be good and I don't actually like to inconvenience people. So maybe that's the secret, confidence and niceness. Well, I never said I was a Jedi Master (even if I have a badge from Walt Disney World's Star Tours that says differently). I'm really just a Padawan.
Saturday, November 3, 2012
Trapping Stray Thoughts
I believe that we have more control over our minds than anyone could have thought possible. However, much of what we lack is discipline. I've been watching a lot of Star Trek Voyager these last few weeks and have seen some benefit of choosing to think like a Vulcan. Not the whole lack of emotion thing, because that's weird, but of being specific in the type of ways we think.
How many times have we heard about marriages breaking up because of affairs and the two participants stating: we couldn't help ourselves? It was meant to be. It was bigger than both of us. Yeah, right. There was a time where that attraction (which is FAR from inevitable) could have been nipped in the proverbial bud and made that particular possibility "inconceivable." First, why, oh why, would you think that someone who married is even eligible for your affection? I don't know about you, but I'd prefer a man who keeps his commitments and honors his promises. I think I'd lose respect for both him and me if we participated in the dissolution of a marriage. There are some women, sadly, who only crave men who are unavailable. Or if they desire being with a powerful man, a wife is inconsequential in their goal. Why?
I don't understand it. To me a married man is not connected to my dating pool. It's true that a married man doesn't have his guard up and is usually kinder than single guys who believe you're below their notice. And it can be nice to have someone of the opposite gender pay attention to you. HOWEVER, if you feel that you are becoming attracted to someone who is married, you have the ability to stop feeling those emotions. I know. I've done it. More than once. You just shut those feelings down and make sure you're never alone with that guy until it's as if you never felt any stirrings of emotion for them.
And it's probably easier to do that at the beginning than if you've obsessed about him, fantasized about things, etc. Here's another thing: my odd scruples about Hollywood crushes. Once a guy I think is dreamy has walked down that aisle, I have to give him up. I don't feel right lusting after a married man. To be fair, I try not to actually lust after any man because I think that's rather unhealthy...but I end the attraction when he's no longer available. Also, I end an attraction if I find out he's not interested in women. Sadly, several of my crushes have come out of the closet which makes me think I need some dating therapy (because, apparently, I am attracted to men who are a different type of "unavailable").
It's not easy being strict with your thoughts and emotions, but it is possible. It's not hard to let your emotions get the better of you, but you don't have to live life that way. I know there are still areas of my thought processes that could use improvement, like the part that cares too much of what other people think of me, or the thinking poorly about myself, or the perfectionist mentality that allows me to fail and do nothing because if I can't do it perfectly, why bother. So I know I have more challenges ahead of me. But I have worked hard on not thinking negatively about others when I'm out and about. So when I'm faced with thinking critically about a stranger on the street, as soon as I start a negative thought I drown it out by thinking of the Smurfs theme song from the cartoon years ago. It's annoying. I don't like it. And it's like aversion therapy. I haven't been running that song in my head very often recently because I'm training myself to not think about strangers negatively. Yea! It would be fabulous if I never had to think of that tune again. Of course, the la la la's are banging about it my head right now just writing about this. Ah, well.
So let me sum up: trap those stray thoughts and purge them before they lead to any inappropriate action. I'm always relieved when after I find myself starting down a questionable path that I retreat and go a different way. Backtracking is possible. No roads are inevitable or destiny or anything else that would excuse your lack of self-control. My behavior is mine and there are consequences in life. It's up to me to act in a way that the consequences would be positive instead of negative. It's also important to remember that when I fail, there's a way to come back. I believe in repentance and atonement with my full being and am grateful that clean slates are possible.
How many times have we heard about marriages breaking up because of affairs and the two participants stating: we couldn't help ourselves? It was meant to be. It was bigger than both of us. Yeah, right. There was a time where that attraction (which is FAR from inevitable) could have been nipped in the proverbial bud and made that particular possibility "inconceivable." First, why, oh why, would you think that someone who married is even eligible for your affection? I don't know about you, but I'd prefer a man who keeps his commitments and honors his promises. I think I'd lose respect for both him and me if we participated in the dissolution of a marriage. There are some women, sadly, who only crave men who are unavailable. Or if they desire being with a powerful man, a wife is inconsequential in their goal. Why?
I don't understand it. To me a married man is not connected to my dating pool. It's true that a married man doesn't have his guard up and is usually kinder than single guys who believe you're below their notice. And it can be nice to have someone of the opposite gender pay attention to you. HOWEVER, if you feel that you are becoming attracted to someone who is married, you have the ability to stop feeling those emotions. I know. I've done it. More than once. You just shut those feelings down and make sure you're never alone with that guy until it's as if you never felt any stirrings of emotion for them.
And it's probably easier to do that at the beginning than if you've obsessed about him, fantasized about things, etc. Here's another thing: my odd scruples about Hollywood crushes. Once a guy I think is dreamy has walked down that aisle, I have to give him up. I don't feel right lusting after a married man. To be fair, I try not to actually lust after any man because I think that's rather unhealthy...but I end the attraction when he's no longer available. Also, I end an attraction if I find out he's not interested in women. Sadly, several of my crushes have come out of the closet which makes me think I need some dating therapy (because, apparently, I am attracted to men who are a different type of "unavailable").
It's not easy being strict with your thoughts and emotions, but it is possible. It's not hard to let your emotions get the better of you, but you don't have to live life that way. I know there are still areas of my thought processes that could use improvement, like the part that cares too much of what other people think of me, or the thinking poorly about myself, or the perfectionist mentality that allows me to fail and do nothing because if I can't do it perfectly, why bother. So I know I have more challenges ahead of me. But I have worked hard on not thinking negatively about others when I'm out and about. So when I'm faced with thinking critically about a stranger on the street, as soon as I start a negative thought I drown it out by thinking of the Smurfs theme song from the cartoon years ago. It's annoying. I don't like it. And it's like aversion therapy. I haven't been running that song in my head very often recently because I'm training myself to not think about strangers negatively. Yea! It would be fabulous if I never had to think of that tune again. Of course, the la la la's are banging about it my head right now just writing about this. Ah, well.
So let me sum up: trap those stray thoughts and purge them before they lead to any inappropriate action. I'm always relieved when after I find myself starting down a questionable path that I retreat and go a different way. Backtracking is possible. No roads are inevitable or destiny or anything else that would excuse your lack of self-control. My behavior is mine and there are consequences in life. It's up to me to act in a way that the consequences would be positive instead of negative. It's also important to remember that when I fail, there's a way to come back. I believe in repentance and atonement with my full being and am grateful that clean slates are possible.
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