Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Out of tCeOxNt

When you don't have all the information, it's easy to jump to conclusions which have no basis in fact. Because we tend to see the world through our own filter, we make assumptions all the time about why people do the things they do or say what they say, etc. Someone decided that all caps is yelling. YOU CAN SEE WHY WHEN YOU TYPE IN ALL CAPS: IT SEEMS THAT WHAT YOU'RE EXPRESSING IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT AND MAYBE LOUD. It also can be annoying. Don't worry, I'm not actually yelling. In fact, if you believe I am, that is your perception. I was using it as an example and you didn't actually hear me. I promise.

The more we move into an electronic age of instant communication, the easier it is to misunderstand the messages we send. Since I like to write, my texts are often long and (hopefully) grammatically correct, except for the occasional slang. I actually type something like "too funny" or "that made me laugh!" - not LOL. And this is how I usually express that I don't know or care or whatever: <shrug>. I like it much better than IDK. Also, a shrug can convey so much more than the phrase "I don't know."

And because I'm wordy; when I receive brief replies of one or two words, I imagine that the person on the other end is perhaps angry or annoyed. That's because *I* get quiet when I'm mad. But, if the responder is a guy, well, they typically use less words a day than women do. Men are used to being brief. I don't know how to be. So, somehow I have to stop thinking that briefness equals anger. It probably means someone's a neat, concise thinker.

I want you to realize that anything, ANYthing, can be taken out of context. The media is quite good at it. I've learned how to read the movie reviews. If they use a major network's minor affiliate's critique, then they had to go down pretty far to get a good review...somewhere. They can also lift phrases from a larger, probably negative critique, like so: "I tried hard to find something to like in this dreck that is trying to pass as good cinema, but the best movie of the year it's not" can become "...the best movie of the year...."

This happens in politics as well. Instead of opponents actually explaining where they stand on issues (which, if they were honest, may not get them enough votes to win so they have to be vague or risk actually getting a firm base with people who agree with their policies and opinions), mostly they get to the point of pulling things out of context and using them in an inflammatory manner to do that old muckraking shtick. How the media decides to use these tactics actually shows their bias. For, if they are just reporting facts only, which in themselves can be subjective by which tidbits they choose to share, it is when they purposely choose a phrase or topic without the rest of the sentence or speech that causes sensationalism and probably contributes to the success of the person they are not defaming. And win them more viewers/readers/listeners who dislike the candidates having the proverbial mud flung at them.

So, yes, when you don't tend to speak to people face to face, where you can see what they're expressing physically or actually hear the tone of their voice, it is way to easy to misunderstand them. Perhaps some people think I'm preachy. However, how would they know that I'm really trying to use a wry wit? Or that I make amusing faces when I'm writing? Or the way I dramatically emphasize certain things when I read something out loud to see if it makes sense?

Context: don't be out of it on purpose. And please talk to people in person. That shouldn't be so rare anymore. We might misunderstand each other less. Notice that I'm not saying that communication will be perfectly understood. How could it be? None of us are perfect and we (thankfully) cannot read each others' minds.