We *are* good enough!

Today has been a good day. This morning as I was walking to church a man waiting at a bus stop asked me if anyone had told me today that I was beautiful. I laughed and said no, and thank you. Then he told me to keep smiling. He didn't need to do that for me, but how nice for him to brighten someone else's day simply because he could!

Church was very moving and I always love going. Something has stayed with me today, though: the concept that we are good enough to accomplish tasks we are given. I believe in a loving, higher power. I believe that this life isn't all there is. I also believe in an adversarial force that does not want us to have faith in ourselves or others. It goes right back to believing the bad that people say about us and not the good.

How often have I discounted the nice things people say? I'd always pass it off as "oh, they say that to everyone" or "you have to say that because you're my (insert relationship here)." Sometimes it's hard to take a compliment. And I'm the kind of person who wants to compliment you right back for being sweet. Oh, you like my shoes today? Well, I think your hair looks fabulous! But when we don't believe the things that people are complimenting us on, it's awkward to be praised. You really think I sing well? But I'm not really trained. You think my clothes look trendy? But I was a fashion victim most of my life. Are you sure? Are you sure you've got the right person?

Someone tried to prank call me when I was in high school. You know, the heavy breather type? "Hey, I think you're sexy and I like your body," he said in a gravelly voice (it must have been someone I knew who was trying to disguise his voice). Here's how I responded: "Really, have you seen me? Do you need glasses?" Yes, I really asked that. I think I also asked him if he had the right number, but he did say my name at one point, so I guess his call was intentional. He only called a couple of times. And there was that one phone call in the middle of the night that my uber-fabulous younger sister answered when I yelled at her not to. Dad had said all late-night calls get answered by him. Anyway, she answered while half asleep and when Dad asked her who that was, she said it was for me, Dee, and some guy wanted me to meet him at a hotel. A booty call via my little sister? Classy. I have no idea who it was, nor do I ever need to know. Though I am quite curious as to what would have transpired if my dad had answered....

So, yes, I don't usually believe compliments. I've mentioned it before and I still need to work on it. I don't think my mom meant to make me feel ugly and fat and unattractive to all boys, but when she would comment that boys would like me better if I were thinner and dressed better and wore makeup, well that tends to make one feel decidedly unpretty. I think she was trying to figure out why they weren't asking me and figured it was an "exterior" and not an "interior" issue. Though, she has also said that for years I was socially awkward. But it didn't matter anyway as the boys continued not asking me out. Again, I get more improper advances from inappropriate men than I get asked out on legitimate dates. So it's refreshing when a man I don't know just says I'm beautiful without having an agenda.

Also, joining eHarmony and being told by the site "you're too picky by asking to be matched with people who also don't drink (although asking for non-smokers is apparently okay)" and having only one guy be interested and then lose interest, is a confidence killer. I hate cyber dating. The sting of not being picked hasn't lessened with age. It's okay, though. I wasn't really interested in that guy, either.

So, I am going to believe Mr. Random Man on the Street that I'm beautiful. And it doesn't matter if people look down on me because I don't have a fancy job. My job title is not indicative of who I am and what I'm capable of. And it's okay if I'm not great at any particular one thing...because the fact that I'm not bad at a lot of things can be pretty impressive in itself. So I'm good enough to be me. AND you're good enough to be you! See how wonderful we are?

To Go or Not to Go to Comic Con?

I grew up going to the local medieval festival every summer. It was marvelous. When I was young I dressed all the way up. The older I got, the less I dressed up to go. First, there's an issue with renting a costume (as the only ones that would fit my frame left little to the imagination in the bodice region). Second, it's HOT in the summer, even at the beginning, in the southern part of the States. By the time I moved from there I was just trying to look cute in shorts, a short-sleeved modest shirt, sandals, and tons of sunscreen. Did I mention that I get sunburned every day on my short walk to and from work? Well, except in winter when I'm walking home in the twilight hours.

So, now that I can't go to that fabulous faire anymore, I've turned my thoughts to Comic Con. Hey, people dress up to go...and it's air conditioned and no fear of sunburn at all! But I want to go as me. No costume. No fan girl t-shirt. No asking anyone to autograph any body parts. They're having one in my area soon, so I wouldn't have to pay to travel or stay in a hotel. Yay, because I'm money-poor. Ha ha! But I've hesitated in buying my tickets in case I got that job. But I haven't heard anything, so I'm pretty sure that I'm not starting a new position on August 5th. Don't worry, I'm completely okay with not getting that one. Apparently, the higher you get in the admin track the more stress they advertise in the job posting. I think there's something wrong with a society that burns out people quickly while not really paying them enough to take away their health and well-being (which was advertised upfront).

So, here's my conundrum: do I buy a one-day Saturday ticket or a three-day Thursday to Saturday ticket and ask for the time off? I've never been to one and I wouldn't mind getting my "feet wet" in the sci-fi convention arena. But taking off two days from work is very extremely appealing. My only exposure to said conventions would be in the movies, like Galaxy Quest, or television, like when Jonathan Frakes directed that Castle episode or when George Takei was on Psych. Obviously, this is not the "real" Comic Con in L.A., but enough people have signed up that they've already had to change the venue...to within walking distance of where I live. Score! So, does anyone know what going to a comic/sci-fi convention as a newbie is like? Would wearing normal, casual clothes be more shocking than a costume? I do have a friend who already has her three-day pass, money saved up, and fan girl t-shirts planned. I hope she's not embarrassed by me where she will completely fit in and I will not....

Oh, and the other option is buy the pricey three-day pass that gets you a swag bag and one "free" autograph or photo op. That's the one I'm leaning towards. But then, who do I choose to get my picture taken with or an autograph from? Decisions, decisions.

If anyone has any advice, please chime in!