Sunday, January 27, 2013

A Friend In Need

I know that the actual saying is "a friend in need in a friend indeed." Since English can be interpreted in many ways the phrase looks like it's saying that when your friends are needy, that's when they're at their best. Nope. That's not what it means. What it's trying to convey is that when you have a friend who sticks around when YOU are in need, that is a true friend.

But I am going to write about my friend who is in need and how many of her friends don't quite know how to help her. I just found out yesterday that one of my dear friends has been diagnosed with a late-stage cancer. The doctors feel that the cancer they've found has moved from somewhere else and they have to find the rest of it before they can start proper treatment. This friend is my age with two young children and is recently divorced (which began while she was pregnant with their second child).

I have been thinking constantly about her situation since I heard about it last night. If I and other friends (who have left messages on the blog which explains her diagnosis) have been obsessed with her situation, I cannot fathom the depths of her emotions right now. She's been given a few years if treatment works, a few months if it doesn't. It is fortunate that she has family in the area that can give her comfort and support that friends, no matter how close, are not able to achieve. I don't know what I can personally do, but as she asked for specific advice on her blog, I sought after a small piece of it. So when she's ready to deal with that aspect, I have the information.

What I *wish* I could do would involve a magic wand to remove all cancer. But I can't do that. I also wish I had money so I could help with a) her treatment and b) providing for her children's future. But I don't have enough funds to help in that way. I wish I could tell her that I was in a great position to take care of her kids if she chose to place them outside of family. But I am single and work 40 hours a week and only make enough for my own needs.

Though there's a lot I can't do, there are some things I can. I can pray for her, send her silly jokes so she can laugh, spend time with her when she needs a distraction, be a sounding board for all types of things, etc. Perhaps all of us who know her should write down stories about experiences we've had with her so that her children have a record of the type of woman their mother is.

What does one do for a friend in need? It's just tragic. Her burden is so heavy right now. I hope that somehow, some way, we'll be able to help lift that weight off her shoulders as much as we can for as long as she's here. And when we are no longer able to actually help her, I hope that what we've done will have helped her family for the long road ahead without her.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

How is it only Tuesday?

It has been a very long work week already. I'm in denial that it's only Tuesday and that I have three more days of work. On the upside, I have a three-day weekend coming up as next Monday is a holiday my company observes.

I've been super stressed at work and it hasn't helped that I've been sick for almost a month. I'm at the end of my second illness in that time and am glad that I did NOT get the flu that has taken a nasty turn in epidemic proportions in the USA. I find it funny when people are surprised that people can die from the flu. "Flu" is the nickname for influenza. If you're up on your history you'll know that lots of people have died from different waves of that sickness. Sure, it's no Black Plague, but for some it's just as deadly. One of my friends had a sister-in-law just lose her baby because of the flu. The woman had gotten so sick that she had to be hospitalized and two days later the baby died. There is a reason why pregnant women are urged to get a flu shot. It's true that those that develop the vaccine are just guessing that the flu antibodies you'll develop with this year's serum will be the right ones for when the flu shows up. You are free to not get your flu shot if you don't want to, but it can be beneficial.

There are some people that believe and spread information that the flu vaccine can be worse than the flu. If it is, I bet it's for a smaller portion of the population than those whose lives would be saved by getting the vaccine. This is probably also true for those that refuse to inoculate their babies for serious diseases because the shot may or may not cause autism (or, let's face it, they don't want to see their baby hurt and crying, even if it's very brief and they'll never remember it). Considering that there are lots of different types of the condition on the Autism Spectrum and no one has truly figured out what causes it, basing it on one thing (shots) may not be true. So it may only be the fear that it might be true that causes some people to loudly protest, spam you on facebook about it, etc. Again, you're free to believe what you will, but if your lack of desire to prevent disease helps bring an "extinct" disease to the area I live in and my immune system doesn't work well enough, even though I was given boosters, I'm not going to be happy with you. One of my sisters got diphtheria as a young adult. Yes, she'd been immunized as a baby. But it's also true that lots of women where she was living at the time were not getting their kids the recommended boosters. Not immunizing your children has consequences. Maybe not to you, but what you choose to do or even not do affects others. Almost always. You're never just choosing for yourself.

There are a lot of "anti-" movements in the United States. Freedom of Speech, when not tempered with tact or good taste, can get way out of hand. Like PETA. If you don't want to eat meat or wear fur/leather because you don't want animals to be killed for your meal or clothing, sure, feel free to abstain. However, pushing your views on others isn't kind. Ever. Instead of just letting someone wear their fur and just thinking of them as amoral you have to go and throw paint on the coat? What? Have you met a mink? They're stinky, yet shiny, weasels. They're vermin. They're not friendly or cuddly or anything like that. In fact, they might try to eat your bunnies that you're working so hard to remove from any type of manufacturing. Perhaps the concepts of the "circle of life" and the food chain elude them. I'm not sure. But I *do* know that I will not try to push my meat-eating ways onto vegans. That's just a lost cause. I wish they'd give up on trying to convert us to food that only makes me hungry and cranky because it's really not that filling. Or delicious.

Just so you know, I think it's silly to buy a fur to show off your status, like in parts of the South where it never really gets that cold. However, if you live in Alaska animal pelts can keep you warm enough to survive their brutal winters. I don't think we should judge people who buy fur for warmth. I love my feather blanket and it keeps me toasty at home wherever I need it during Fall/Winter (mostly when I sleep, sometimes on my couch, never in the kitchen).

Also, since most of you reading this don't actually know me personally, I wanted to report that last week the weather conditions got so bad that our corporate office decided to send people home at 1:30 p.m. Our sattelite office had to find out if our clients were closing early, too. Enough of mine were staying open that I knew that some of our office staff would be asked to stay, so I volunteered. I have a very short commute and knew I could wait longer and still get home okay. This is what I was trying to convey in the last post. Due to circumstances, I usually stay. Mostly it's because it makes sense that I do. But for holidays....

Anyway, work has been hard lately for many people in my company. Transitioning to a new computer program where you do most of your work can be traumatic. Especially if it doesn't work the way the company promised, as well as it should, or do anything you'd like it to. This is probably why most everyone at work has gotten sick. Stress lowers your immune response. Fortunately, I have people who have confidence in me, even if I'm not getting the usual amount of work done. It probably helps that no one else is as productive as before, either, so we're all in the same proverbial boat. And yet, my ease at learning computer programs has led several people to seek me out for additional training, even when I haven't done what they do. Interesting, no?