A Friend In Need

I know that the actual saying is "a friend in need in a friend indeed." Since English can be interpreted in many ways the phrase looks like it's saying that when your friends are needy, that's when they're at their best. Nope. That's not what it means. What it's trying to convey is that when you have a friend who sticks around when YOU are in need, that is a true friend.

But I am going to write about my friend who is in need and how many of her friends don't quite know how to help her. I just found out yesterday that one of my dear friends has been diagnosed with a late-stage cancer. The doctors feel that the cancer they've found has moved from somewhere else and they have to find the rest of it before they can start proper treatment. This friend is my age with two young children and is recently divorced (which began while she was pregnant with their second child).

I have been thinking constantly about her situation since I heard about it last night. If I and other friends (who have left messages on the blog which explains her diagnosis) have been obsessed with her situation, I cannot fathom the depths of her emotions right now. She's been given a few years if treatment works, a few months if it doesn't. It is fortunate that she has family in the area that can give her comfort and support that friends, no matter how close, are not able to achieve. I don't know what I can personally do, but as she asked for specific advice on her blog, I sought after a small piece of it. So when she's ready to deal with that aspect, I have the information.

What I *wish* I could do would involve a magic wand to remove all cancer. But I can't do that. I also wish I had money so I could help with a) her treatment and b) providing for her children's future. But I don't have enough funds to help in that way. I wish I could tell her that I was in a great position to take care of her kids if she chose to place them outside of family. But I am single and work 40 hours a week and only make enough for my own needs.

Though there's a lot I can't do, there are some things I can. I can pray for her, send her silly jokes so she can laugh, spend time with her when she needs a distraction, be a sounding board for all types of things, etc. Perhaps all of us who know her should write down stories about experiences we've had with her so that her children have a record of the type of woman their mother is.

What does one do for a friend in need? It's just tragic. Her burden is so heavy right now. I hope that somehow, some way, we'll be able to help lift that weight off her shoulders as much as we can for as long as she's here. And when we are no longer able to actually help her, I hope that what we've done will have helped her family for the long road ahead without her.