Disclaimer: these opinions are my own. Perhaps you see life differently from me and that's okay. I believe that people can disagree with one another and still be friendly. And if you are my sibling and don't see yourself in my memory, that's okay, too. I was (usually) younger with a different viewpoint. It doesn't make me right, nor does it make me particularly wrong. If I ended up with the opinion, there was probably an incident that I need to let go of that you don't remember. Also, we've gotten older/wiser since then and I know that if you had the same issue that I had, you most likely have grown out of it. As for the rest of you, feel free to dislike my opinions if you wish. What I believe is right for me and me only. This is a forum where I feel free to express my thoughts and it is not meant to offend anyone. I promise that I am a rational person and I hope you will read my post with that in mind.
I believe I may have mentioned that I'm a poor loser *and* a poor winner when it comes to games and such. When I was in high school I spoke to my mom about how uncomfortable I am with competition and she said it's because I'm TOO competitive. This does not compute. If I'm ultra competitive, wouldn't I love to compete? Our parents pitted us against one another (due to family tradition, which I only found out in the last few years) but didn't give us the proper skills to deal with gracious winning, losing, and good gamesmanship. Poor gamesmanship was our lot.
I've discovered that the only competition I truly enjoy is against myself. Can I do better than last time? Can I beat my last score? I tend to play a lot of single-person games. It's probably why I love computer games and single-person games on my PS3. Have I mentioned that I'm not allowed to play Halo anymore? Not after I bonked a friend on the head after he continuously killed me, even though I'd asked him nicely to stop. I was appalled that I let my temper get away from me. So, no, yet another thing that I stay away from--it's a self-imposed ban (I also don't like blood and gore and was initially playing it in the hopes of getting a date - which I was mistaken in being interested in guys who played Halo at every opportunity, even when they could have gone to the movies with the real live girls who lived next door). I'm proud of myself that the last time I played Monopoly with a group I did NOT, in fact, fling the board across the room when I was last (though I really, really wanted to). One of my friends was the banker and loaned me some money when she saw how much I wasn't enjoying myself. What she did wasn't in the rules, but it helped, and I love her for it.
It was eye-opening, though, to play a couple of games with a friend who loved competition WAY too much. He was a bad winner and a horrible loser, and more so than me. That was weird. I'd never met anyone worse than me (and [some of] my other siblings). In my family we like to win and are only happy when we win and we rub it in others' faces when we do. We hate to lose because we don't like it when others rub it in our faces. Oh, yes, we can dish it out and definitely not take it.
I'm going to assume that in a "healthy" competition, if there is such a thing, that winners are nice and those who do not win are happy for the person(s) who do(es). This is a rare thing or at least I'm completely unfamiliar with it. One girl at church was looking for someone to play tennis with. She asked if I played and I said, yes, but that I have the most fun when nobody keeps score and we're all happy if we can hit the ball over the net. She gave me a funny look and never asked me again. She loves to compete and didn't like the fact that I was suggesting to play different from the norm.
School rivalries mystify me. Who cares about who wins or loses this year? Why does it matter? Can't people get a good education at either school? Seriously! I prefer playing sports to watching them; however, I always get injured playing them. So you can take from that that I really don't prefer sports. I was good at Chinese Checkers, but never learned chess. There seemed to be too many parts/rules to keep track of.
So, war, what is it good for? ...I think you know the next line. Someone decided to invade or they're offended or just mean or (insert foolhardy reason to fight here). But it's not enough that they want to physically fight with someone, they have to rally others to fight, too. Usually those who get others into a frothy anger or conditioned hatred are the ones furthest from the field. There are times to fight: when it's in defense of your home, family, or freedom, but no other reason is just. None. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Etc.
When the USA had it's own "civil" war, there were impassioned feelings on both sides that they were right and God was with them and not with the other side. There were foreign countries camped in the territories north and south of us, some even contributing to the Southern cause in the hopes of swooping in and claiming (or reclaiming, in Great Britain's case) the States after the chaos that was sure to occur if the South won. So, it was good that the North won, not just because it aided in the abolition of slavery. And those in the South who are still impassioned about a loss over a hundred years ago, please stop caring that you "lost." If you'd won there wouldn't be a USA. And those who are of a violent vein living anywhere: please stop trying to secede. If you don't like the way the government is run, go out and vote, or campaign for someone/thing you believe in, or run for office yourself (on a logical platform, please), or find a new nation to live in. Shooting or bombing people who disagree with your opinion is not right.
I also wonder if our nation should rethink being the world's police? True change comes from within. I don't know if you've noticed how resentful some nations are that we're in their countries helping with their freedom in their own "civil" wars. What we've usually accomplished is getting them to stop fighting each other, with the losing side often fighting us. Is it worth our people dying? For their freedom from oppression to work, they have to work it out amongst themselves. As hard as it is for us to watch, a nation must save themselves from their own home-grown oppressors or they face one despotic ruler or regime after another. If those countries are invading our soil, I say have at it. But otherwise, we ought not to fight others' battles when we're not welcome, even when we answered a desperate cry for help in the beginning.
As for those who decide to leave their countries instead of fighting an oppressive or corrupt government: why *didn't* you stay and fight? I've noticed that some immigrants, whether legal or not, are trying hard to remake where they now live into a little piece of the place they loved (or hated), but left. If you moved in the hopes of a better life, why are you trying so hard to make the "better" place just like the last place that you no longer believed was good? I don't understand this at all. My ancestors came from several different countries and when they came to the US they joined the big ol' melting pot and though they held onto familial traditions, they forged bonds with their newly chosen nation. If you prefer the culture of where you lived, but left for more opportunity, please know that you have to live around others who aren't from your culture and may not understand why you try so hard to cling to your old ways. Also, know that just because your last culture did things that were considered socially acceptable there, they may be illegal in your new home. If you chose to leave, then you should also expect to adjust to where you land. These are things that I would probably consider if I chose to move to a different country. But I'm a big rule-follower and would do my best to learn the language of my new home as soon as possible. Hopefully, wherever I moved would (ideally) speak English or French as I would have an easier time with those, having grown up with one and briefly flirted with the other.
Again, I realize that I am stating a side and an opinion on which you may not find yourself or agree with. I do not believe that contention is healthy, whether on a personal level or a world-wide stage. For those that believe in almost any religion: compassion for others is a key element. If we all practiced the true tenets of our belief systems, the world would be a better place. Peace comes with a nation's attitude which is based on each individual. As long as the majority chooses peace, it has a chance of being upheld. But when the majority chooses selfishness, the nation falls. I fear for the United States. As a whole I see an increasing amount of selfishness amongst almost every group. United we stand, divided we fall. We must find common ground and love one another, despite our flaws and theirs, if we are to continue as a free nation. We are allowed to be nice to one another and I suggest we do so.
Hoping for less divisiveness in both politics and personal relationships,
Dee
PS: just because I believe something doesn't make me more right that someone who believes something else. It just makes us different. I could also be wrong and may need to time to gain different perspective.
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