When you choose to be a people pleaser, whether due to your birth order, indoctrination, nature, or even nurture, you are bound for disappointment. I know this very well. I'm always living my life to please others. I think I may still be trying to please my parents, which is just silly as I live, what, a fourth of a nation away? I also like to please my friends, my landlord, my boss(es), and coworkers... You get the picture, right?
So we have a new employee. I expected (and others were hoping for the same) to train this one just like I have others in the past. I've also been known to train managers, but we won't get into that. However, due to unfortunate circumstances, the new employee, who was believed to be someone I would get along with, does not want anything to do with me. I was seen as critical when I wasn't trying to be. Being trained when you don't know any of the programs can be daunting and you can't know everything right away. You just can't. And no one expects you to learn everything within four days. There's a reason why there's a six-month review. That's around the time that you're expected to know what your job entails and whether you are able to do it.
So, after I tried to apologize for accidentally offending my coworker, I was ignored. I did try one more piece of information, but apparently that didn't go over well, either. I guess they were really mad at the end of the day and that's the only thing I can think of that may have caused it. It was painful for me. I wasn't being mean, I was merely trying to train. And then I felt responsible. Responsible for the pain the coworker was feeling and responsible for now being unable to train them at all.
But I have very kind managers in my office who have taken the burden of responsibility off of me. I am not to take it personally (which will be very, extremely difficult). Since this person and I are supposed to work as a team, essentially, and help each other with our duties, this will be a challenge: not one I was looking for, but one I've gotten, nonetheless. My managers actually want me to continue working there and, unfortunately, saw how much today affected me. That's on me. I need to be more professional. I was, in fact, pleased with myself that I didn't ask to go home a few hours early when the first incident happened. And I reallllly wanted to. But I had to be an adult. So I stayed and continued working.
So, I need to learn how to do the following: dealing with a co-worker who wants nothing to do with me, growing a thicker skin, and not stressing so much about the work. I can only do what I'm capable of doing. Even if others expect perfection from what I do, that is an impossible goal to try to live up to. I am merely a mortal, fallible human being; flawed to the core and doing the best I know how.
I hope I can survive two more days of work! But know this: I will not offer any more unasked for advice (aka training), even if the new coworker is not following company policy or is making huge mistakes by trying to learn everything on their own. It will only make them more miserable. And, therefore, me.
How I wish I had some chocolate right now!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
Um, Deadline Extended
So...I only ended up working on the book twice last month. The first part of the month was spent celebrating many May birthdays. I think I know more May babies than any other month! The rest of the month was filled with an unseasonable, very nasty cold. It was going around at work, so it was kind of inevitable that I was going to get it. Some of my coworkers have joked that if someone even mentions sickness, I get it.
That's a little unfair. True, none of us had ANY idea that I had a permanent sinus infection until last year when I forced my primary care doctor to sent me to an ENT (Ear, Nose, and Throat) specialist; aka Otorhinolaryngologist (same thing, only fancier). It's funny. I've apparently had that issue for years. YEARS. In college I would always wheeze for like a 1/2 hour after running across campus. My junior year was when I found out that when I breathed in cold air while lying down, i.e. sleeping, I would be ill by the next morning. More than one doctor said that was impossible, yet it kept happening. And I had to be very careful because I would get, you know, a really bad sinus infection that would last for up to two months. Also, (this is T.M.I. and a little gross, so skip ahead if you'd like) one person told me that green mucus from your nose was a sign of infection. Mine was always green. At least one medical professional pooh-poohed the mere thought.
So, it's been hard trying to get the medical community on board with my seeming hypochondria. I *loved* that my ENT said that I'd gotten really good at fighting off my infection because I was functioning with that many germs hanging out in my sinuses. That's why surgery was essential. I'm still getting sick, but now I think my mounting stress is lowering my immune response. And I'm more run down than sinus-y. Sooooo much better than pre-surgery. Now I can sleep in cold air and NOT be sick in the morning. And I can run across the crosswalk and not wheeze at all. Woohoo!
Back to Memorial Day weekend, I was so sick with that stupid cold that the week before the holiday I missed two days of work, went in for three, and then had the three-day weekend with two vacation days I tacked onto the end. The holiday weekend was spent finally getting over the cold. I was so out of it on Sunday that I went to church with mismatching shoes. On a side note: when I texted my sisters about it, it rhymed. One of them pointed out that it was like Shel Silverstein poem. What do you think?
Dear Sisters Three, I just had
to share. I was so out of [sic] this
morning that when I threw on
my shoes to run to church,
they weren't a matching pair.
Ah, well.
So, I unintentionally rhymed, forgot "it" after "out of" and was so muzzy headed that I wore two different shoes. Someone else had to point it out. Sigh.
The last two days of "vacation" were me figuring out that what I thought was now stomach flu was just my ulcer making its presence known. Mightily.
So, despite all of that, I'm glad I actually worked on the book! And, really, I wanted to see if I'd write anything at all. I've re-read everything I've written so far and decided to completely cut the last chapter. It felt forced with the "happy" ending that a lot of people expected the book to lead to. But that version is inauthentic. And I think that you can have a happy ending even if the heroine of the piece does not end up with her own prince charming. Maybe that could be a sequel. Or not. They say "write what you know" and I'm still single....
That's a little unfair. True, none of us had ANY idea that I had a permanent sinus infection until last year when I forced my primary care doctor to sent me to an ENT (Ear, Nose, and Throat) specialist; aka Otorhinolaryngologist (same thing, only fancier). It's funny. I've apparently had that issue for years. YEARS. In college I would always wheeze for like a 1/2 hour after running across campus. My junior year was when I found out that when I breathed in cold air while lying down, i.e. sleeping, I would be ill by the next morning. More than one doctor said that was impossible, yet it kept happening. And I had to be very careful because I would get, you know, a really bad sinus infection that would last for up to two months. Also, (this is T.M.I. and a little gross, so skip ahead if you'd like) one person told me that green mucus from your nose was a sign of infection. Mine was always green. At least one medical professional pooh-poohed the mere thought.
So, it's been hard trying to get the medical community on board with my seeming hypochondria. I *loved* that my ENT said that I'd gotten really good at fighting off my infection because I was functioning with that many germs hanging out in my sinuses. That's why surgery was essential. I'm still getting sick, but now I think my mounting stress is lowering my immune response. And I'm more run down than sinus-y. Sooooo much better than pre-surgery. Now I can sleep in cold air and NOT be sick in the morning. And I can run across the crosswalk and not wheeze at all. Woohoo!
Back to Memorial Day weekend, I was so sick with that stupid cold that the week before the holiday I missed two days of work, went in for three, and then had the three-day weekend with two vacation days I tacked onto the end. The holiday weekend was spent finally getting over the cold. I was so out of it on Sunday that I went to church with mismatching shoes. On a side note: when I texted my sisters about it, it rhymed. One of them pointed out that it was like Shel Silverstein poem. What do you think?
Dear Sisters Three, I just had
to share. I was so out of [sic] this
morning that when I threw on
my shoes to run to church,
they weren't a matching pair.
Ah, well.
So, I unintentionally rhymed, forgot "it" after "out of" and was so muzzy headed that I wore two different shoes. Someone else had to point it out. Sigh.
The last two days of "vacation" were me figuring out that what I thought was now stomach flu was just my ulcer making its presence known. Mightily.
So, despite all of that, I'm glad I actually worked on the book! And, really, I wanted to see if I'd write anything at all. I've re-read everything I've written so far and decided to completely cut the last chapter. It felt forced with the "happy" ending that a lot of people expected the book to lead to. But that version is inauthentic. And I think that you can have a happy ending even if the heroine of the piece does not end up with her own prince charming. Maybe that could be a sequel. Or not. They say "write what you know" and I'm still single....
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