I've been watching Ready for Love which, sadly, has ALREADY been cancelled. So much for all the time and effort (and money) spent in producing and making it if a network doesn't want to give it time to find an audience. However, I'm glad that they are still going to release one a week online until the episodes are all aired. I would like to know who the guys end up picking. I don't hold out much hope that they'll find true love, though. There are many dating shows out there and they all have horrible track records for actual marriage. Survivor seems to have had more marriages than The Bachelor.
I have a theory. Yes, how could I not? There seems to be something primal in a man's nature that screams for competition. When a guy feels like he has won the love of a woman, he is more likely to stay with his proverbial prize. This is why guys like the girls that are hard to get. When we make it too easy, apparently we aren't seen as desirable, no matter how perfect we are for each other. That is the part that sucks. You can be absolutely wonderful, but if no one is dating you, rarely does someone see you as dateable. Silly. But I have known girls who announce they are moving or engaged or leaving the country for almost two years and guys come pouring out of the woodwork to woo said woman. Huh? So, the otherwise taken girl is suddenly popular, while all of the available girls are chopped liver.
You know, pâté is made of chopped liver and it's expensive and I guess a delicacy. So all those available girls are special treats and for some reason the guys are ignoring their labels. Okay, that was a forced metaphor. But I hope you get my drift.
I think The Bachelorette is more successful as a dating show. They should all be like that where several men compete for the heart of one woman. With the way the male brain works, it seems like it would be a more successful outcome.
At the singles groups at church, where there are more girls than guys, it's always like The Bachelor when lots of girls compete with each other, all hoping for one of the few guys to like them. You know, since the guy gets to choose who he wants, it's rather pointless to claim you saw him first. He doesn't have to like you just because you're a victim of happenstance. And if you're all feeding him and macking on him and boosting his ego, does he ever have to choose just one? He may be having the time of his life and doesn't want it to end. I think all the single girls should band together and make the guys work to impress them. It's how it works in nature. Those animals are doing everything they can to impress the ladies in the hopes that one of them will agree to mate.
I personally would love for a guy to fall all over himself in order to win my heart. As long as he's not creepy. I used to have a list of what I wanted in a guy, but it's slowly gotten smaller and smaller. So, now I'm not looking for things like a great sense of humor, likes dogs, or has good earning potential. I just want a guy crazy enough to take me on while sane enough for me to want.
There's a church-related singles conference in my area next month. I could go and mingle with people who come from all over, but I don't enjoy those events anymore. Usually they have inspirational classes (which some used to be more about dating and/or scriptures), but now they're about earthquake safety and finance. Um, what? And since going to the dances kills my ego when no guys ask me to boogie on the dance floor, I'm going to skip the entire drama/torture. I might go if they had classes like For Women Only: Stop Chasing the Guys, For Men Only: How to Be a Man and Choose Already, How to Tell if Your Dating Standards are Impossibly High, If She Doesn't Like You Then Move On To Someone Else, and If He Doesn't Like You Then He's Not Worth It. Those are probably the classes that the older singles should be getting. I've also come to the conclusion that sitting in classrooms does not help us meet and get to know each other, neither does a dark room with loud music.
I'm making it harder for men to meet me, but that's okay. Isn't playing hard to get what I'm supposed to be doing? Except when I make myself so scarce that they don't realize I exist...?
Friday, April 26, 2013
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Typical Human + (Finite Time x Impossible Workload) = Unavoidable Failure
I have been playing a shell game at work. Today I admitted it to two managers, which gave them pause. What I said was, "Every time the yearly review comes and I'm asked to improve on a different item, I have to drop something else." This made one of them highly annoyed. See, he's asked me to work on different things, things he believes are important, without doing worse elsewhere. How is this possible? My workload has been overloaded for years.
So...we're being audited on our business practices. You know the things someone high up believes we should do with the lawyer-ese to back it up. Then these high ideals get shuffled down the line until they end up on an assistant's desk. Then that assistant is expected to do all these things, so, get this, the company and managers look good. Whatever it is the managers are actually doing, they are not managing my time or workload with any finesse.
After quitting time I was asked into one of the offices to go over an audit item that if we fail, we get "dinged" on pretty badly. Guess what, it's what I had to fail at the last two years to get any semblance of work done. Now that one of my immediate managers knows the extent of a) what I've let slide and b) what I will have to do before July, the concern is that I won't be able to do it all in time. They are understandably worried. All our collective rears are on the line for work I'm unable to accomplish. Whose brilliant idea was that?!?
Once we looked over the list of items for that manager, I pointed to the other part of the combined spreadsheet for my second immediate manager which was the same type of work I am expected to do before *that* audit in June. His jaw figuratively dropped and he's going to ask someone to help me get all that work done.
And yet, the powers that be feel we're overstaffed.
It's funny when people who are in charge of you really have no idea what you do. They see the piles of work on my desk and think I'm just unorganized, not the obvious thing that I have too much to accomplish in too little time. I get sent to a class on time organization. By the way, that was a class for managers, not admins. It was a waste of my time and didn't apply to me at all. I have to be available to our clients whenever they need something, so I am constantly reading my new emails. Apparently, to organize your time better you are to ignore your emails except for maybe twice a day in the hopes that when someone didn't get an answer from you that they'll have gone elsewhere or figured it out themselves. Hmmmm.
Another time I'm told my priorities are out of whack, so I sit down in long meetings to prioritize my time (which could be better used by not being in a meeting) and, guess what, ALL of it is important and it all needs to be done and I'm not allowed overtime. I'm told it's okay and work will be there tomorrow and get done what you can. Until the audit and reviews come around. Then I'm lambasted for not doing enough.
Because I actually care about the quality of my work, all of these things stress me out. I'm starting to joke that my job is killing me, but I think it may be true. The more admins and managers that don't get replaced add to my workload by the "spread the work around" method. How, if I have more work than ever before, am I expected to get anything done beyond the basics? I will say this for the manager who wants to get me help, when I mentioned that I do, in fact, care about the work and I don't like disappointing people, he said I haven't disappointed anyone.
I know that's not entirely accurate, but it will have to do. And the fact that I've dedicated an entire blog post to what transpired specifically today for half an hour, but has been coming on for years, just shows how concerned *I* am about it.
Though now I'm also concerned because the same suggestions are coming out of this manager's mouth of "set aside a certain amount of time to accomplish this." Yes, it's on my calendar weekly and it's been pushed aside by other "urgent" things every week. Also, "when you find some time" (HA!) please write down your typical week so we know how much you're doing. I could do that if I had time. Unless he has the ability to get me a time turner like Hermione Granger had in Harry Potter, I don't see anything changing about anything, except now I will be even more stressed about it. This assistant needs an assistant (or three).
So...we're being audited on our business practices. You know the things someone high up believes we should do with the lawyer-ese to back it up. Then these high ideals get shuffled down the line until they end up on an assistant's desk. Then that assistant is expected to do all these things, so, get this, the company and managers look good. Whatever it is the managers are actually doing, they are not managing my time or workload with any finesse.
After quitting time I was asked into one of the offices to go over an audit item that if we fail, we get "dinged" on pretty badly. Guess what, it's what I had to fail at the last two years to get any semblance of work done. Now that one of my immediate managers knows the extent of a) what I've let slide and b) what I will have to do before July, the concern is that I won't be able to do it all in time. They are understandably worried. All our collective rears are on the line for work I'm unable to accomplish. Whose brilliant idea was that?!?
Once we looked over the list of items for that manager, I pointed to the other part of the combined spreadsheet for my second immediate manager which was the same type of work I am expected to do before *that* audit in June. His jaw figuratively dropped and he's going to ask someone to help me get all that work done.
And yet, the powers that be feel we're overstaffed.
It's funny when people who are in charge of you really have no idea what you do. They see the piles of work on my desk and think I'm just unorganized, not the obvious thing that I have too much to accomplish in too little time. I get sent to a class on time organization. By the way, that was a class for managers, not admins. It was a waste of my time and didn't apply to me at all. I have to be available to our clients whenever they need something, so I am constantly reading my new emails. Apparently, to organize your time better you are to ignore your emails except for maybe twice a day in the hopes that when someone didn't get an answer from you that they'll have gone elsewhere or figured it out themselves. Hmmmm.
Another time I'm told my priorities are out of whack, so I sit down in long meetings to prioritize my time (which could be better used by not being in a meeting) and, guess what, ALL of it is important and it all needs to be done and I'm not allowed overtime. I'm told it's okay and work will be there tomorrow and get done what you can. Until the audit and reviews come around. Then I'm lambasted for not doing enough.
Because I actually care about the quality of my work, all of these things stress me out. I'm starting to joke that my job is killing me, but I think it may be true. The more admins and managers that don't get replaced add to my workload by the "spread the work around" method. How, if I have more work than ever before, am I expected to get anything done beyond the basics? I will say this for the manager who wants to get me help, when I mentioned that I do, in fact, care about the work and I don't like disappointing people, he said I haven't disappointed anyone.
I know that's not entirely accurate, but it will have to do. And the fact that I've dedicated an entire blog post to what transpired specifically today for half an hour, but has been coming on for years, just shows how concerned *I* am about it.
Though now I'm also concerned because the same suggestions are coming out of this manager's mouth of "set aside a certain amount of time to accomplish this." Yes, it's on my calendar weekly and it's been pushed aside by other "urgent" things every week. Also, "when you find some time" (HA!) please write down your typical week so we know how much you're doing. I could do that if I had time. Unless he has the ability to get me a time turner like Hermione Granger had in Harry Potter, I don't see anything changing about anything, except now I will be even more stressed about it. This assistant needs an assistant (or three).
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Self-Reflection by Identifying With Fictional Characters
I think you can tell a lot about yourself by which made-up characters you identify with. I had a dear friend whose favorite anybody was Disney's Cinderella. She was an adult woman who loved buying Cinderella ornaments for her tree, etc. I finally realized why she loved Cinderella so much: my friend had a horrific stepmother and jerky stepsisters. In a way she identified with Cinderella--never the bell of the ball at home, but destined for happy things one day. I asked her about it and she said, yes, that was why she loved buying themed items. It helped her cope with a bad situation (that she fortunately moved away from). She had no fairy godmother to help her out, but she did have friends who tried to watch out for her, and her stepmother eventually passed away. Now she never needs to see those girls with whom she was never related! And she got married and has a child of her own that she cherishes. So, in way, she got a happy ending. For those of you who are married with children, you may now belly laugh until you cry.
I love Into the Woods and I'm very excited that it's coming to film. I just hope the wolf isn't anatomically correct! I love it because the "happy endings" appear in the first act and real life happens in the second when the (spoiler alert) narrator gets eaten by a giant and no one knows what to do anymore. The last time I saw the play I think half the audience left at intermission. They didn't want the fantasy to end, I guess. I also like the quote from the second half when Prince Charming says he's raised to be charming, not sincere. I can't tell you how true this has seemed on many an occasion. My mother used to say that if a man can sweep you off your feet, he's had practice. And the most charming boys I've known have never truly been honest. They were overly charming, though. I do know some very dear people who are simply charming and sincere. I think they're fabulous.
But back to me. I've pondered quite a bit recently about which fictional characters I identify with, and it's not a pretty picture. For example, I am always Eponine, never Cosette. This has happened oh, so many times. I thought the guy liked me, but really he liked my friend or I liked a guy and thought he might like me someday, but he thought of me as a little sister - repeated ad nauseam.
I am very fond of The Muppets. Who do I identify with? The Great Gonzo. I am weird, odd, and misunderstood and I never do anything the normal way. And in Winnie the Pooh? Pooh Bear. I am often hungry, looking for something snackish, and have a roundish shape. I've also been known to hum with happiness while eating something particularly tasty.
No, I don't see myself in anyone glamorous. I'm that girl in the back, the one that's mainly ignored by everyone. Now I know that's not exactly true anymore. I'm quick witted and I love to laugh, so I'm great at parties. And somehow people have gotten the idea that I dress trendy and with good taste (I'm still not quite believing that one). And I have the type of open personality that readily invites friendship in. No matter where I go I make friends (keeping in touch with them is a different matter, but that's all on my forgetful end when I only think of them far away from any communication device).
Ooh! I could be The Ordinary Princess whose sisters are so beautiful and she is very plain. However, my über fabulous younger sister has only recently told me that not only does she think I'm beautiful, too, but that I'm JUST AS beautiful as my sisters. I'm still wrapping my head around that. Could that really be possible? But they all got married young and didn't have over a decade of extreme awkwardness (and very buck teeth) or ever had a lack of understanding about what clothes did and did not flatter them. And were so beautiful that men fell at their feet. It seems that the only times men have fallen at my feet were if they tripped in their haste to run away. But that could have been my needy, co-dependent personality and not as much my looks (but I thought it was my looks at the time--and to some my looks may still make me ineligible [but we don't want those ones, do we]).
I don't know if I'll ever get to the point of believing myself worthy of patterning after an Elizabeth Bennet or an Anne Shirley (though I really would love my own Gilbert Blythe), but what I am doing is trying to be myself and not what I think might make me seem more attractive to the opposite sex. That is why in public I now embrace my geekiness. I don't want to pretend that I don't love science fiction in the hopes that some guy might like me. What, I'm going to admit it after marriage when I try to name our house after something silly like Bag End or the Kobayashi Maru (the latter has a certain subtext that wouldn't actually be good for a marriage...so maybe not that one)? "Oh, by the way darling, I'd love to attend Comic Con someday. I hope you still love me and aren't devastated that you didn't know this MONTHS ago."
And yes, I'm totally geeking out about the new Lego video game based on Marvel characters. Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeal! Pardon me while I drool with anticipation. It's not coming out for months!!! Must pre-order to get extra characters for the game (imagine that in a hypnotized-type voice).
So when you think about who you identify with, is it someone who is just like you or is it someone you'd like to be? I think I'll mentally chew on that for a while.
I love Into the Woods and I'm very excited that it's coming to film. I just hope the wolf isn't anatomically correct! I love it because the "happy endings" appear in the first act and real life happens in the second when the (spoiler alert) narrator gets eaten by a giant and no one knows what to do anymore. The last time I saw the play I think half the audience left at intermission. They didn't want the fantasy to end, I guess. I also like the quote from the second half when Prince Charming says he's raised to be charming, not sincere. I can't tell you how true this has seemed on many an occasion. My mother used to say that if a man can sweep you off your feet, he's had practice. And the most charming boys I've known have never truly been honest. They were overly charming, though. I do know some very dear people who are simply charming and sincere. I think they're fabulous.
But back to me. I've pondered quite a bit recently about which fictional characters I identify with, and it's not a pretty picture. For example, I am always Eponine, never Cosette. This has happened oh, so many times. I thought the guy liked me, but really he liked my friend or I liked a guy and thought he might like me someday, but he thought of me as a little sister - repeated ad nauseam.
I am very fond of The Muppets. Who do I identify with? The Great Gonzo. I am weird, odd, and misunderstood and I never do anything the normal way. And in Winnie the Pooh? Pooh Bear. I am often hungry, looking for something snackish, and have a roundish shape. I've also been known to hum with happiness while eating something particularly tasty.
No, I don't see myself in anyone glamorous. I'm that girl in the back, the one that's mainly ignored by everyone. Now I know that's not exactly true anymore. I'm quick witted and I love to laugh, so I'm great at parties. And somehow people have gotten the idea that I dress trendy and with good taste (I'm still not quite believing that one). And I have the type of open personality that readily invites friendship in. No matter where I go I make friends (keeping in touch with them is a different matter, but that's all on my forgetful end when I only think of them far away from any communication device).
Ooh! I could be The Ordinary Princess whose sisters are so beautiful and she is very plain. However, my über fabulous younger sister has only recently told me that not only does she think I'm beautiful, too, but that I'm JUST AS beautiful as my sisters. I'm still wrapping my head around that. Could that really be possible? But they all got married young and didn't have over a decade of extreme awkwardness (and very buck teeth) or ever had a lack of understanding about what clothes did and did not flatter them. And were so beautiful that men fell at their feet. It seems that the only times men have fallen at my feet were if they tripped in their haste to run away. But that could have been my needy, co-dependent personality and not as much my looks (but I thought it was my looks at the time--and to some my looks may still make me ineligible [but we don't want those ones, do we]).
I don't know if I'll ever get to the point of believing myself worthy of patterning after an Elizabeth Bennet or an Anne Shirley (though I really would love my own Gilbert Blythe), but what I am doing is trying to be myself and not what I think might make me seem more attractive to the opposite sex. That is why in public I now embrace my geekiness. I don't want to pretend that I don't love science fiction in the hopes that some guy might like me. What, I'm going to admit it after marriage when I try to name our house after something silly like Bag End or the Kobayashi Maru (the latter has a certain subtext that wouldn't actually be good for a marriage...so maybe not that one)? "Oh, by the way darling, I'd love to attend Comic Con someday. I hope you still love me and aren't devastated that you didn't know this MONTHS ago."
And yes, I'm totally geeking out about the new Lego video game based on Marvel characters. Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeal! Pardon me while I drool with anticipation. It's not coming out for months!!! Must pre-order to get extra characters for the game (imagine that in a hypnotized-type voice).
So when you think about who you identify with, is it someone who is just like you or is it someone you'd like to be? I think I'll mentally chew on that for a while.
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