I love the English language. It fascinates me. There's always some new word to learn and its origin to explore. You'd think that since I loved my college class on the history of the English language that I might have pursued a linguistics degree instead of a straight English degree, but you'd be wrong. I hated school and straight English with no teaching was the program that would allow me to graduate the fastest. I think of my Bachelor of Arts as a badge of honor since I had to endure so many hours of torture to get it. I had dreams of becoming a writer and did my best to take the available writing courses, but the real purpose of that degree was to pump out critics. And contribute to more liberal arts degrees for kids who then have a hard time applying those skills in the real world.
Sure, having a degree in English would be a great base for moving on in schooling. In fact, I wish it were required for pre-law and premed. Lawyers and attorneys have a great knack for slaughtering the real meaning of words in their legalese until all legal documents don't make a lick of sense. They're counting on their ability to obfuscate their intentions so you agree to hand over your first born and perhaps an unneeded limb without realizing it. If only it were just explained in the fine print then it might still be legible with a magnifying glass. As for doctors, they really do need to have a better mastery of English. I was part of a local project to digitize medical abstracts from The Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA) and was told that the digital version had to match what was printed and I was NOT ALLOWED to correct the grammar. That was torture. Not only could I not edit what really needed to be edited, I also learned about a lot of experiments on rats and mice which made me slightly ill. And not just because I am not fond of rodents.
I also struggle with corporate-ese. Do you know how many catch-phrases that the corporate world gloms onto that don't actually mean what they're intending to say? Engineers, particularly, often misuse words, but because none of them studied their own language enough the misuse is "the accepted standard." Horrifying. I've had arguments with them that the word doesn't mean that and they should use something else. Apparently Engineers are stubborn and would rather use a word incorrectly as a whole because that's what everybody else is using than fix it. I thought it was their job to fix things. Perhaps I'm wrong?
I have read a lot in my life. I love books and there have been times that I devoured them on a regular basis. Because of this much of my vocabulary was learned through reading. I've been accused of constant mispronunciation. Okay, but even if I'm saying it incorrectly, I know I'm using the right term. So, there.
Here's the thing, though: people struggle with what to call me based on my degree. It's true that I'm not a scientist, engineer, doctor, lawyer, athlete, teacher, etc. But I am NOT an "English Major." I was while I was getting my degree, but then I graduated. To continue calling me an English major seems as if I am constantly pursuing a formal education. I realize that there is no official term for a person that completed my program, otherwise you could call me an Englishist or Englisher. Neither of those terms exists (and one sounds like a swear word). So, perhaps you shouldn't refer to my degree as a definition for what I am, because it doesn't work. Please do, however, use the terms "educated" or even the apropos "underemployed." Ha!
I stand corrected! In using the spellcheck option before posting, Englishist was, indeed, not a term, but Englisher apparently is. I went to Dictionary.com and it says that the word means "a person who translates from a foreign language into English." So, yes, I am still learning about this complicated, frustrating, wonderful language. How marvelous!
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