Tired of Being "Strong"

I'm weary.

After the un-shocking removal of my coworker last week, I knew I could get through having to deal with both mine and her clients because a very capable and fabulous friend and coworker who had been absent for some time was back on the job. There was an end in site, with hopefully a better new employee on the horizon (which I know will take awhile, no matter how much they say they're going to be quick about it). But, then the shock came. A week to the day of the last termination, the other coworker was let go. I was her backup, too. So, many people at work know that I'm burdened with a lion's share of work. There are others only aware of just one of the two terminations. And at least one person who does know about both and is still completely unsympathetic. I shouldn't be surprised.

I'm only doing the basics.

The clients, however, don't see it as one person doing more work, they see that I'm the new helper person who has all the time in the world to deal with their issues and can't see why I'm taking longer and longer to respond to "reasonable" requests.

Work might be scared that I might leave, as I have some of the only working knowledge on one major system.

These were the hardest three days in a long time. One coworker bought me cookies. Others have been checking on me on the phone and by email.

I'm really tired now. Before, when there was hope of help from the other admin, I was fine. But now. Now I really am doing the work of three people. And poorly. And I have no clue how "long" the process will be to find two new people. And once they're hired, I'm sure I will be the one training both of them.

They hired someone recently to fill a position deemed unneeded after a termination over a year ago. Someone was finally able to convince them the position was actually necessary. I showed her today a portion of my job that her boss thinks would be good to know so she can help. It's a very complicated and convoluted program. Her eyes were wide after I demonstrated what we have to do to get the results we want. She said there was a large amount of knowledge in my brain.

I really don't know how long I can do this and still stay sane.

I would really appreciate it if work didn't have so much faith in and high expectations of me. I'm pretty sure they have TOO much confidence in my abilities. Can I get through this without becoming completely broken?

The admin I will miss, however, is taking a positive view of her situation. Because, seriously, she doesn't have to work in our highly dysfunctional environment anymore. Is it bad if you wish you were fired, too?