Moral Ambiguity

Is it legal and/or moral to have your coworker committed? Please say "yes." It's horrible that I'm even writing about this issue, but this is why I *have* this platform. It just would have worked better if I hadn't told some of my family/friends/coworkers about the blog and what my pen name is.

Yes! I've finally gotten that off my chest! Dee Templeton is not my real name. But it *is* a pseudonym. So, I consider myself sort of like Samuel Langhorne Clemens, Amantine Lucile Aurore Dupin, or even Charles Lutwidge Dodgson. Now, I am definitely NOT comparing myself to their writing ability. I shudder that I would even think myself so proud!!! However, they felt the need to write under a pen-name...and so do I. 

I work for a small company, in a smallish big city, with a very unique name (mine, not the city's). See the problem? If I actually wrote under my real name and anyone decided to Google me, then everyone would know about the blog. So I keep everything general (if you haven't noticed already), because the more specific I get, the more possible it might be that I could be fired, or that my mom might find the blog and feel betrayed/upset/hurt and I really don't want those things to happen.

This blog is my confessional. And because I feel safe from censure at work, I'm more honest than I probably should be while sending out my thoughts into the blogosphere. I send them out not really expecting any readership, so it's odd that people read it when they don't know me. And I've concerned a couple of family members a little bit with what I have confessed.

I am not perfect. I am not married. Most of my close friends have gotten married and moved on or live too far away to spend a ton of time with. I live on my own. I'm not allowed to have pets, unless it's fish. I'm sick a lot. I'm female. And I need to talk to someone. ANYONE (except maybe for the last therapist I tried)!

But, as you know, sometimes you just want to vent. To just get out the ickyness you're feeling. So then you can try to get rid of it. Sometimes vocalizing (or writing) about your feelings can help you see how wrong they might be, or where you need to work on letting something go.

So, yes, I feel the need to vent about my coworker and I apologize to anyone who actually a) knows me and/or b) works with me. I don't need to burden you with too much personal information about my difficult workmate.

I'll just say this: I've had a roommate a lot like this coworker. The other roommates and I made this roommate go to therapy. I spent too much sympathy and empathy on this person and had nothing left to give when I moved out. I don't want to be sucked in to anything like that again. It's impossible not to get sucked into the new coworker's drama and issues, because sometimes you unwittingly participate. I have less sympathy and empathy for her with every passing day. I'm getting close to telling her things I know will make her mad. So, instead of suggesting, "hey, maybe you should wait until your manager is back before going forward on this project," I might be telling her, "no. Don't ask that other manager to approve your work." And then also tell that manager not to approve anything, either.

But today, because I got embroiled in her mess, I'm just frustrated. And angry. And now she can blame me for some of what happened, even though I thought I was being oh, so careful about not being liable for any of the work she was doing. And it completely sucks that I feel responsible for my part in it. I offered help to fix the issue and she refused to accept it. And I know she's going to narc on me to her manager. Who is a good friend of mine, by the way. So she knows about this blog. And I'm sorry if you ever read this, manager/friend, that I badmouthed your employee. I also regret that any of you might actually know who this person is. Because I'm not being Christian. I'm not being understanding and loving. I'm done being patient and giving the benefit of the doubt when all I've gotten in return in smiles or grumpiness in front of my face and all kinds of complaints about me behind my back. How does one deal with this issue?

This is why I want her to be committed: so she can grow up, get the help she needs, and be out of my hair.

I'm not proud of myself for feeling this way and I don't want to. But, like I said, I just needed to get it out of my head and somewhere where I could see it and get to a place where I can change my attitude. I'm not there yet, obviously, but the "word vomit" was a start. And, yes, I think I need to go watch Mean Girls now.

Dee out!