I know what you're thinking: "But, Dee, your blog has only been advisotic so far." Well, yes, but it's mainly my own thoughts. I am not saying "You, Person X, should go do A, or perhaps B, so you will be happy." I'm just sharing my observations on how things might be better if people were different. Ha!
I have concluded that it DOES NOT MATTER what phase of life you're in, if you're already content with your life, or whether you're even seeking advice, people will volunteer unhelpful things because they CAN. And maybe they love you. Or not. Sometimes they're just buttinskis and you would rather pull out your teeth one by one using the string-on-the-doorknob method than to hear one more bit of advice from them (or the end of the movie they just saw last night that you were planning to see this weekend...but not anymore).
I don't think the advice starts pouring in until about middle school. Let's face it, in grade school our teachers and parents (and maybe siblings) are telling us what to do and we mostly trust their judgement. So, you still got advice, but I don't remember any of my friends saying, "Hey, you should wear knee socks when you wear your corduroy shorts with the penny loafers." They didn't have to say it, because if you liked their style you just copied it, too.
But I do remember comments from middle school like, "You'd be so pretty if you wore makeup." "I am." "Oh." Or in high school: "You should just get drunk and make out with a guy." College: "Boys might like you better if you lost weight and dressed differently." Post college: "You know, my brother's best friend's cousin's dog walker's yoga instructor gives the best advice on how to lose weight, you should start that program where you only eat raw cabbage and carrots. Sure, you might die, but you'd look so great right before then!" And: "You should change everything about yourself." Or the perennial favorite: "Why aren't you married?"
According to boys outside my faith, they have no clue why I'm still single. Within my faith (where I do all my dating) the boys like to tell me: I feel strongly about things, I'm too sexy, I'm just like their sister, I live too far away, and it's unrealistic to think that if a guy likes me that he'll want to rearrange his schedule to spend time with me, et cetera ad nauseum. All they're really saying is "I don't like you like that no matter what you do, nor will I ever." Harsh, boys, harsh. I also notice that you're still single at 45....
But that's the advice I get. My married friends get questions and advice on when to have children, how many, and how to raise them, all without anyone checking to see if they can even have children, want children, or are already on birth control and got pregnant anyway. Besides, child-rearing is a personal issue, and sometimes spanking is the only quick, effective method and more often than not isn't child abuse. Though the child being spanked may feel that way, their perspective is skewed by believing that they weren't being naughty and, therefore, didn't deserve it (but they probably did).
So if you don't want advice on cars, electronics, phone plans, college majors, or career paths, just don't mention that you're investigating such things. If you actually want the advice, that's different, of course. But on the things that are obvious to others, like weight, you can't stop them from trying to change you, because they only think they're helping and it's for your own good. Riiiiiiiiiiiight. When you're done talking I'm going to ask you if you have a disease that makes you speak without your brain engaging. Sigh. If only.
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